Band of Pride Practice

No sleep again last night. We're still not sure if his teeth are bothering him or if he's hungry. Sure, he'll take a bottle, but I think he's mostly soothed by the sucking and not the food. When will we sleep again?

After no rest and wondering if Ollie's was getting enough food, I spent a tear-stained morning cooking chicken, potatoes, and cauliflower, and chopping up a honeydew melon. When Grammie arrived to pick up Ollie, I was still in my robe with tears streaming, snot dripping, and major bed head. It was obvious I was teetering on the edge of sanity, and that I was not going to get to work on time. I packed up the food that I prepared as Grammie dressed Ollie, and ushered him out the door. I think she was afraid I was really going to flip out and she didn't want him to witness it.

Once again I've set my expectations way too high and as usual I'm too proud to ask for help. I was feeling desperate to find a solution to Ollie's sleeping problem and feeling like a failure as a mother for not being able to solve this problem. Lack of sleep will cause any person to go crazy, but a pregnant lady can take that to the extreme.

Eventually I was able to pull myself together and get to work by 10:00. I worked through the pounding headache and puffy eyes, but couldn't wait to get home. I arrived at Grammie's around 3:00, and headed home to hopefully get some rest while Ollie napped. Daddy got home around 4:00 and took care of Ollie's dinner while I rested. He had to help Grandpa wash and load tractors for tomorrow's Alexandria Fair Parade, so once I appeared stable he reluctantly left us alone.

At this point I was feeling really tired and my head was pounding, but I knew I couldn't let my little guy down. We decided to get out the Jeep stroller and head out for a walk, hoping we would have the energy to make it to the high school to watch the band practicing. As we started down the steep hill we could hear the music and watch the marching. I was exhausted, but I felt attracted to the band like a moth to a light bulb. As we got closer and closer, Ollie started jabbering, grunting, and rocking in his seat. This gave me even more incentive to keep moving forward.

As soon as we arrived, I unstrapped him and we sat on the curb watching the very young-looking musicians. There is something about a marching band that invigorates me. It always takes me back to high school and the endless amounts of energy that I possessed then. Every time the drum line would march close to us, Ollie's eyes would grow wide and he'd tighten his leg and arm muscles (just like he does when watching tractors). I told him of my past life as a drummer, but I'm not sure he believed me.

We watched the band for nearly 45 minutes, but decided that when they stopped for break it would be a good time to start the long journey home before bedtime meltdown started. I'll admit that I shed more than one tear on the way up the hill, but they were tears of happiness that Ollie loves music as much as tractors. Best of all I channeled drummer Mollie and mustered up the confidence, courage, and pride to face the challenge of solving Ollie's sleep problem with a level head, even if I had to do it without sleep.