Light at the End of the Tunnel

I forgot how challenging a new job can be, but I had no clue how much a baby could complicate that situation even more. At least 75 times over the last three days I have questioned my decision to go back to work and how I would juggle everything. I've lived with myself for 32 years, so I should have known better than to think things would run smoothly for me while I adjusted to being a working mother. Afterall, I am a living, breathing example of Murphy's Law.

Was I delusional to expect Ollie to sleep all night as he had been for months? What made me think I would have time to do all the chores and be in bed by 10:30? How could I imagine sleeping until 7:00, yet reporting to work at 8:00? How did I envision having the same amount of time to read, play, and cuddle with my sweet baby? Who did I think was going to cook dinner and do laundry?

Sure, I set myself up for disappointment, but why, oh why was it necessary for me to have crazy hormone fluctuations this week? That's just the icing (not tasty butter cream, but nasty cool whip) on the cake. On some level I knew I was being delusional, but I also know I would not have even applied for a job, much less accept a position, if I considered this crazy transition period. On second thought, maybe it's not Murphy's Law, but Mollie's Law of Optimism Without Regard for Reality that causes me so much heartache.

The funniest thing is I'm only able to reflect on this situation now that I see the light at the end of the tunnel of my first week of working on my own. Now that I have time to pause, we're obviously over the insanity hump. I suppose I could learn from my mistakes for the next time I decide to take on two, three, or four major projects at the same time, but if the past is any indication of the future, I'm sure I'll bite off more than I can chew again and again.

I'm not trying to get all "Jon and Kate" on everybody by being so serious, but I obviously need to vent about my current state-of-mind. I also don't want to come across as ungrateful. I know I'm extremely lucky to even have a job. On to the good news...

Sweet Ollie slept from 8:45-6:00 all night last night! Ahhh, the little things bring such joy!


Tomorrow should be a short day and then I'll have all weekend to regroup.